So now that I'm 29...

I feel old. Really old. I'm thinking it was those two years that I had three visits in the hospital, catching up with me. Or maybe is was the stroke.

I feel so tired and have no idea why. Nothing is really stressing me right now that I can tell. Maybe my subconcious is fighting with itself. Who knows?

I do know that next year, for my 30th, I am going on a trip. Where, I don't know. Who with, whoever wants to come. I just want to get away and celebrate BIG. For a while there a bunch of my doctors (and I have had 7 at one time) thought that I might not have made it.

So instead of New Year's Resolutions, I have resolutions for this year. Things to Change Before I Turn 30.

1. Go back on the weight loss program I started before and that actually worked. My Dream Goal is to lose 100 pounds by 30 years old. To be realistic I will settle for 75. (Yes, I am a big girl for those who don't know.) I lost over 40 pounds before so I know I can do it.
2. Try not to dwell on the stupid things. Be happy I am alive and have someone who loves me.
3. Curse less. Fuckity fucking fuck, and all that.
4. Get a new job with benefits ASAP so I can get back on all the pills I am supposed to be taking. It's a miracle I haven't landed in the hospital again. I thank God, Allah, whoever happens to be up there for that.
5. Get out of my negative mindset. I always think the worse and it has been shown to me that it can be a detrimental way of thinking.

So basically I want to be a happier, HEALTHIER person. I don't think any of the things I listed will be too hard for me to accomplish. I'm sure there are more I can think of too, so I might add back to this entry later.

Ya'll have a peachy day.