Saturday, June 02, 2007

Can't Think of a Title

Where do I begin?

Oh, Adam, I left you a reply in the comments of the previous entry, under your comment.

*****

Tim and I are done. Finished. After his last text and phone calls I just couldn't take it anymore. Granted, the whole reason I was ignoring him was hoping he would give up and go away. He has some mental issues (I think he may be bipolar) and I didn't really want him to flip out on me. So after his last text message saying that he loves me and please get back together I just simply replied "No."

I haven't heard from him since.

It's a good thing, so please don't be all sad and sympathetic for me. That relationship was not good for me. It started out great but in the end I started to lose a bit of myself I think.

I let him control a lot of aspects of the relationship. It was not healthy for me to do so. I let him make all the decisions and that is not normally like me. After breaking up twice when he brought up my "devil" tattoo in bed the night before we broke up...I was so in the mindset of wanting to please him that I offered to get it changed.

If you are in a relationship and you have to change yourself so drastically like that, it is so not worth it. I hate myself for even offering it. I thought I was a stronger person than that. Yet he was also at fault for making me feel so bad about myself that I'd be willing to do something like that.

So here I am. Tattooed. Attitude. Still not going to church. And while I may not be blissfully happy being alone, I am quite content with the skin I am in.

And I promised myself to never, EVER, change myself to make someone else happy.

1 comment:

IDon'tPretend said...

I'm glad you gave him the boot. That's just crazy, the way he was treating you. It's one thing to change a character flaw someone may help you see in yourself, but expecting you to change everything you are as a person isn't right. I never wanted Julia to change who she was. I LOVED who she was, every part of her. It was her character flaws that I had a problem with, and they were VERY serious flaws. She got everything so completely twisted, that I got caught up in her delusions, and started believing them myself...