So now that I'm 29...

I feel old. Really old. I'm thinking it was those two years that I had three visits in the hospital, catching up with me. Or maybe is was the stroke.

I feel so tired and have no idea why. Nothing is really stressing me right now that I can tell. Maybe my subconcious is fighting with itself. Who knows?

I do know that next year, for my 30th, I am going on a trip. Where, I don't know. Who with, whoever wants to come. I just want to get away and celebrate BIG. For a while there a bunch of my doctors (and I have had 7 at one time) thought that I might not have made it.

So instead of New Year's Resolutions, I have resolutions for this year. Things to Change Before I Turn 30.

1. Go back on the weight loss program I started before and that actually worked. My Dream Goal is to lose 100 pounds by 30 years old. To be realistic I will settle for 75. (Yes, I am a big girl for those who don't know.) I lost over 40 pounds before so I know I can do it.
2. Try not to dwell on the stupid things. Be happy I am alive and have someone who loves me.
3. Curse less. Fuckity fucking fuck, and all that.
4. Get a new job with benefits ASAP so I can get back on all the pills I am supposed to be taking. It's a miracle I haven't landed in the hospital again. I thank God, Allah, whoever happens to be up there for that.
5. Get out of my negative mindset. I always think the worse and it has been shown to me that it can be a detrimental way of thinking.

So basically I want to be a happier, HEALTHIER person. I don't think any of the things I listed will be too hard for me to accomplish. I'm sure there are more I can think of too, so I might add back to this entry later.

Ya'll have a peachy day.

Eh. Ok, I guess.

I talked to Tim on the phone earlier. He was discussing the work he is doing on a book he plans to write. I am so excited for him. I can't/won't discuss his concept or ideas or plot but I am thinking it could be a really good book. He started asking my opinions on character names today. Then he brought up outlines and plot lines and sequel books.

We both like a lot of the same things and mentioned how we've seen some of "our" ideas in movies. Of course all of this talk got me thinking about things that have NOT been in the movies or books and I got a new story idea. I know I have a lot of unfinished stories lying around that I will get back to...but this idea has jumped to the front.

I've already started researching it. ;)

In other news, I am looking for a new job. Something full time, with benefits, and making at the very least what I make now. Which is not a whole lot but I am surviving on it.

I applied for two jobs at the local hospital and received an email yesterday saying that my application had been forwarded to the hiring manager. When I checked the online status of both applications, one said "Application Submitted" and the other said "In Review Phase". So hopefully it's a good sign.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Today was a good day.

Work was not too bad today. Since we stopped the mandatory overtime I am able to take a nap when I get home and I think it's helping me not feel so run down.

Talked to Tim multiple times on the phone and then we went out to dinner. It was so nice being with him and being able to talk to him. I mean I spend a ton of time at his house, watching TV, talking, sleeping and umm...well you get the idea. ;) But it was nice to be out and about town with him. Tomorrow he wants to go to the movies.

Some people may say it's boring but I am content. Perfectly happy. I love him.

He was talking about his plans for the future (getting his LCSW license, starting a private practice, etc.) and I love hearing him talk about it. He has goals. He wants to do things with his life. Hearing him talk makes me want to do things. Makes me want to plan, to do more than what I am doing now.

He loves me for who I am and yet he makes me want to be a better person. That's not meant in a negative way at all. I guess I mean that he makes me want to push myself further...makes me want to realize goals...makes me dream about things I want to do and accomplish.

He inspires me and I love him for it.

So all in all today was a very good day.

New Blog

I wanted to start a new blog. Something new to coincide with all the new changes in my life. I'm not necessarily running or hiding from the past...I just want to move forward with my future.

So here I am.

Bacardi Trix is a nickname that was given to me by my friends and has seem to have stuck. So I decided to use it here too. I already use it on my Myspace.

I'll be posting soon. I have a lot to say.

Gotta go with the family to get the tree but I will be back. :)