Christmas 2006

My paycheck didn't come last Friday. So guess who didn't get her Christmas shopping done? Guess who didn't give anyone any gifts yet? Guess who feels like a HUGE loser?

That's right. That would be me.

If that weren't bad enough, the universe decide to stick it to me some more. Christmas night I came down with a massive toothache. I had cracked a tooth a few months ago but it decided to wait until CHRISTMAS to hurt. Go figure.

Went to the ER twice and they would NOT give me anything for pain. I suffered so much.

Finally got in to see an oral surgeon this morning. He yanked the fucker. Hours later and thanks to Tylenol 3 with codeine and this chica feels sooooooooooo much better.

Except for the abrupt way that Tim just logged off of Myspace messenger a few minutes ago. He didn't even give me a chance to say goodbye.

I know he was disappointed that I didn't come over Christmas night. I was disappointed that he didn't come here like I thought he would. But really, after my tooth started hurting I was in so much pain and I got a pain pill from my mom...that was all she wrote. I was zonked out.

Then last night...I know he wanted to see me. I wanted to see him too. I was in so much pain that it was crazy. I didn't want to see him how I was, which was curled up in a ball on my bed, holding the side of my face, crying hysterically.

This wasn't your normal, boo-hoo I am so sad crying, it was the sobbing like my heart is breaking red puffy eyes big globs of snot coming out of my nose crying. Now who would want to be with their boyfriend looking like that?? Not me.

It is still so early in our relationship that I am still at that "give your best impression" stage. At least in my mind. I know it's silly. This man has seen me naked and not run screaming for the hills for fuck's sake.

I don't know. I know he was disappointed but maybe he was mad at me for being such a baby. If he calls later or I call him I will ask.

At least in this relationship I have no problems asking him how he feels. And while I still am a little hesitant to tell him how I feel, I am getting better at it. I just want so much for this to work. I love him so much already and while it still scares me at times it makes me so very happy.

So other than all that...Christmas was good. I got a new digital camera from my mother. She knows I am starting to get into photography. I got a whole bunch of other things too, and I can't wait till I can get off these pain pills, get to driving, and give my gifts out.

Better late, then never, right?