Hard Work

This relationship stuff is hard. I know I said it before but I don't know how many times I can stress that point because it's so true.

I finally pinned Tim down to talk to me. He asked me to come over last night and we were laying in bed. Kind of a weird time to talk but I could tell he was upset. So I just pulled him close and told him to talk to me.

So he did. I didn't realize how bad things have gotten with him. He has sunk into this major depression. He found out his ex-girlfriend found out she was pregnant after they broke up and aborted his baby without even telling him about it. He has no confidence in himself anymore. He has lost all positive thoughts for his life.

He tried to kill himself last week. I didn't even know.

I started feeling like a failure. Like I am not holding up my end of this relationship. I mean, he felt that depressed about his life and things that are going on that he'd rather kill himself then talk to me.

Those who know me really well know how hard it is for me to express my feelings to people. But I did it. I told him. I finally got it all out. My worry for him. My hopes for us as a couple. I cried when I told him that all I want is for him not to push me away and to come to me when he is feeling depressed. I told him to call me immediately or just come over to my house, no invitation needed.

He is supposed to see his a psychiatrist on Monday. He wants to get on some medication in addition to talking to someone. I think it's a good idea.

He told me the only bright thing in this dark tunnel for him is me and that he loves me.

We finally talked and broke the silence. Now we can move on to getting him better (I hope!!) and just loving each other.